


Lost Lovers

by seraaphic



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Past Relationship(s), Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:20:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29109189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seraaphic/pseuds/seraaphic
Summary: John's first love is his only love and he's been heartbroken for years after they ended things. One fateful night in Saint Denis changes all that, and perhaps things will be different this time around.A John Marston x female!Reader two-parter!
Relationships: John Marston & Reader
Kudos: 3





	Lost Lovers

**Author's Note:**

> Another thing I wrote for tumblr that I never finished or posted. Working on a part two, should be up soon!

Another day, another successful robbery by the boys. They had just finished the job, a homestead north of Saint Denis. A small victory, but a victory none the less. They rode hard for a bit, escaping the scene, making sure they wouldn’t get caught. They eventually stopped close to the river, laughing at the excitement they had experienced. The sun had just set, the remnant of daylight still faintly lingering in the sky before the darkness crept in.

Arthur divided up their earnings amongst the five of them, making sure there was a enough being put back into the camp.

He passed the extra cash out to Charles, John, Sean, and Lenny.

“Good work today, gentlemen.” He said triumphantly.

“Ah, tank ya Arthur!” Sean beamed as he climbed up and took a seat back the wagon. “Who’s comin’ back to camp?” He asked.

“I am,” Lenny said, moving his horse beside the wagon.

“I think I’m gonna head into the city, grab a drink.” Charles said, beginning to turn Taima around.

“I think I just might join you, Charles.” Arthur chuckled turning his horse around too. “You comin’, Marston?”

“Sure, I’ll tag along.” He said, following suit.

“We’ll see ya back at camp later!” Sean called as the three men rode off down the muddy road.

They brought their horses into a gallop as they rode through the swamp. They stayed on the road, wary of the alligators that were roaming around. The thick mud flicked up behind them as they pressed on.

“Karen told me the ladies were visiting the city tonight. They wanted to check out the Bastille saloon.” Charles said.

“We should meet up with them, make sure they ain’t causin’ too much trouble.” Arthur reckoned. He loosened his grip on the reins and let one arm hang beside him as they pressed on.

“How much trouble could a bunch of ladies cause?” John questioned.

“Oh, you’d be surprised.” Arthur smiled. “Women are always causin’ trouble, and they get away with everythin’… especially when she’s got your heart.”

“Or your dick.” Charles added.

“That too.” Arthur chuckled.

“Whatever you say gentlemen.” John smiled and shook his head. He pretended to be ignorant to the basis behind their statements, but he was quite familiar with the feeling; which would come as a shock to most.

“C’mon, Marston, you ain’t ever been in love?” Arthur asked.

“Can’t say I have.” John sighed. He was lying. There was one girl, but he let her slip through his fingers. He never talked about her. He wasn’t sure anyone in the gang even knew who she was, aside from maybe Arthur. But he probably wouldn’t have remembered her anyways.

John had his fair share of women. He knew how to charm them and bed them, and never had to pay for it. But no one stood out to him like she did, and he knew he’d never find another woman like her again. She was always there, lingering in the back of his mind. He would never admit it, but there were many times when he was with other women, he’d imagine it was her. He’d imagine it was her soft skin he was touching. Or her lips that graced the skin of his neck. It was a feeling he was all too familiar with, one he missed greatly. His imagination simply wasn’t doing it justice. He yearned for her, but he knew in his mind the chances of running into her again were slim, almost impossible. Yet, with the odds so heavily stacked against him, there was the tiniest shred of hope in his heart.

He also wouldn’t admit that he thought about a simpler life outside of being an outlaw, and she was at the epicenter. His wife. During their time together, he talked about it frequently, expressing how one day he’d leave his gang and they would run off together and start a new life somewhere else. She was also avid about travelling. He promised her once he had the money, he’d take her wherever she wanted to go, but he wasted too much time and the plans fell through.

But that was all a fantasy. John dealt with it in his own way, but he struggled sometimes. He just hoped that another woman could come along and erase her from his mind.

Before they knew it, they were riding into the Saint Denis. They slowed their horses down once they made it to the Main Street.

“I think it’s just up there,” Charles said, pointing at the corner of a building. “BASTILLE SALOON” were the words strung on the railing above the door. The three of them hitched their horses and hopped off to inspect the social joint.

“This place looks too fancy for us, Charles.” Arthur said warily. “We’re gonna stick out like sore thumbs.”

John looked at the place up and down. It was higher class. It was lit up with twinkling lights and painted in a beautiful bright red with gold accents. He peered through the window. The men were dressed in suits and hats, while the women wore eye catching dresses.

“It’s fine,” Charles said reassuringly, pushing the doors open. Arthur and John followed closely behind him.

They definitely stuck out. Country folk and city folk seemed like two entirely different breeds. City folk were too… civilized. And this saloon was quieter than any of the saloons these outlaws had experienced.

Johns eyes flew to the bar when he heard rather loud giggling. There he saw Karen, Mary Beth, and Molly leaning up against the bar. They were conversing with the bartender. He was trying his best to be polite, but it was evident he was put off by the three rowdy women.

“There,” John pointed towards them. The three men turned their direction and made their way over to the familiar faces.

“Hello, ladies.” Arthur greeted, leaning on the bar. Charles followed, leaning beside him.

“Hello, Arthur.” Mary Beth beamed. A light blush shone on her cheeks. John wasn’t sure if it was from the alcohol, or Arthur.

“Keep that tongue in your mouth, Mary.” Karen jeered. Molly laughed at the remark, and Mary only frowned slightly in response. They were all tipsy and it was obvious.

“How did the robbery go?” Molly asked.

“It was quite the success.” Charles said before signalling the bartender.

John leaned his back against the bar beside Charles while his peers made mindless chatter. He scanned his surroundings, wondering what it must have been like to be an upperclassman. He studied the women they were talking too. Clean, well kept, almost too much for his liking. These girls seemed too boring.

His eyes continued to scour the faces of the many individuals there, until his heart suddenly leaped.

No way.

He squinted to get a better view.

It… couldn’t be.

His heart almost stopped entirely when she turned her head, halting the conversation she was having while she looked him straight in the eye.

It was her.

John quickly turned around, leaning his forearms on the bar. Charles slid him a drink. He didn’t notice until he felt the cold of the glass cooling off his knuckles. He grabbed it and took a swig.

“Everything alright?” Charles asked, noticing Johns change in demeanour. Johns mind was going a mile a minute. What were the odds that she’d be here? In this very bar. Tonight. Charles’ words were almost completely drowned out by his rampant thoughts.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Lying again. John felt like he was going to throw up.

He prayed she didn’t see him or recognize him at least. He had two large scars on the side of his face, and his hair had grown quite a bit since the last time she saw him. He didn’t look much like his old self. Plus, he didn’t look very clean. If he knew he would have been seeing someone important tonight he would have made himself look at least somewhat presentable.

” John? John Marston?” A sweet voice called from behind him. A voice he was all too familiar with.

John knew he took a long time to turn around when Charles asked. “John, who’s this?” Which then caught the attention of Arthur. John turned around but before he could say anything Arthur interrupted him.

“(Y/n)?” He asked.

She smiled sweetly and curtsied. “Hello, Arthur. It’s certainly been a while hasn’t it?”

John was surprised Arthur remembered her. As she spoke to him, he gazed at her. She was more beautiful than the last time he saw her, if that was even possible. But there were still elements that hadn’t changed. Her hair was never neat, for one. Always a few strands falling out a low messy bun that was pinned up. And she was wearing her favourite shirt, an old peasant shirt of John’s he had given her years ago. The thing was torn in a few places, but she did her best to stitch it up. The bagginess of the shirt gave her a nice silhouette and left much to the imagination. It drove John crazy sometimes, just seeing her at the end of the bed standing there with nothing but his shirt on. That was one of the things he missed the most.

“Charles, ladies,” Arthur began, he walked beside (y/n) and put his arm around her shoulder. “this is (y/n). She’s an… an old friend.” Arthur smiled.

They all gave her a warm welcome while John just stood there, looking everywhere else in the room other than her. Arthur noticed this and grinned smugly. He knew what was going on. He removed his arm from (y/n) and gave John a firm pat on the back. “We’ll leave you to it then.” Arthur gathered everyone up and took them to an empty table.

John opened his arm, signalling her to stand beside him at the bar. He turned around, leaning on the bar with his forearms. He toyed with his glass while she walked up beside him.

“John Marston.” She said again. “What are the odds?”

“It’s been… quite a while.” John said, taking a nervous sip from his cup.

“Indeed, it has.”

“I see you’re still wearing my shirt,” He teased. Tugging lightly at the sleeve.

“You know it’s one of my favourites.” She smiled. Her eyes grazed his face. They made eye contact for a moment, but he quickly looked away. “Your hair’s grown quite a bit, and I almost didn’t recognize you with those scars. What happened?”

“Oh,” John began. “You should see the other guy.” She laughed. His anxiety washed away. Talking to her was like second nature again. “Another one for me, and one for the lady.” John said to the bartender.

“You got it.” He said, putting two clean glasses in front of them.

“What have you been up to?” she asked.

John shook his head and smiled. “Same old stuff. Nothing has changed, (Y/N).” The bartender handed them their drinks. “What have you been up to?” he said, raising the glass to his lips.

“I just got back from France.” She smiled. John raised his eyebrows in astonishment.

“What was it like?”

“Wonderful! So many beautiful places to go visit. I had a great time.” She took a small sip and frowned at the bitterness of the brown liquid. “It was rather expensive though. But that’s okay. It was a once in a lifetime experience.”

They shared a few more drinks between them and continued catching up, with John finishing off a few more than her. A light blush touched her cheeks and she felt warm. She took that as a sign she should stop. John was feeling it a bit too.

Arthur suddenly popped up between them. “How you two been gettin’ on?” He smiled. There was a hint of whiskey on his breath.

“Mighty fine, Arthur.” She chirped.

John looked over his shoulder to his friends at the table. Most of them swaying and stumbling over their words. Charles and Mary-Beth still seemed okay, but Karen and Molly were too far gone. They were howling, and some of the other patrons were getting thoroughly irritated.

“Shut that broad up!” Someone yelled from across the bar. Karen looked and it was a heavy-set man sitting at the poker table. He had a large scar down his face. His skin was leathery and covered in wrinkles. He was dressed rather well, but he looked like a force to be reckoned with.

“Why don’t you come over here… and make me!” Karen taunted. Arthur heard the commotion and pulled himself off John and (y/n), turning around to assess the situation.

“Alright, Karen. That’s enough.” Charles warned, not wanting to cause a scene. The law was already hot on them, last thing they needed was a bar fight in the middle of the city.

Karen stood up and stumbled over to Charles on the other side of the table. The beer was spilling out of her bottle and she was struggling to stand up straight. She stood behind Charles, leaned down, and spoke into his ear. “C’mon Charles, you can take him.” She encouraged.

“Karen, shut up, now!” Charles warned again through gritted teeth. Karen completely ignored his warning.

She stood back up straight and continued taunting the man. “I said make me. What, are you too afraid?” She stumbled back around to her seat but remained standing. “Ladies and gentlemen,” She began. Arthur ran over and grabbed her arm.

“Karen I am warning you.” Arthur said lowly. “Do not-”

“That man over there, is a no good, ugly, yellow belly!” she pointed and laughed.

With a swift movement, the man and his cohort sprung up from their table and stormed over to Arthur and Karen. John and Charles quickly moved beside them, prepared for anything that would happen.

(Y/n) stood and watched from the bar. “Miss?” she turned around and saw the bartender leaning in to talk to her. “If anything happens, just hop behind the counter with me. I’ll keep you safe.” She thanked him quietly and he bowed his head in response. She turned back to watch the erupting situation.

“I told you to shut that broad up!” the man fumed, drops of saliva flying out of his mouth.

Charles was trying to diffuse the situation. Arthur still had a hold on Karen, but he didn’t notice that she slipped his revolver out of the holster. Everyone went silent when she pointed the gun at the man and pulled back the hammer.

She held her stance for a while, until she swiftly raised her arm in the air and fired two consecutive shots in the ceiling. Cries of fear erupted from the other patrons as Arthur seized his gun from her hand and forced it back into the holster. People started flowing out of the bar, and those that remained were crouched under tables for protection. Arthur threw Karen aside and swiftly punched the man in the nose, knocking him unconscious. He fell to the floor with a loud thud. His accomplice ran away.

John looked towards (y/n). She stood there, still stunned from the loud gunshot. He walked over to her and placed his hand on her waist. “Are you alright?”

She looked up at him, trying to shake the shock that overcame her. “Yes, I’m fine, that just kinda’ caught me by surprise is all.”

“You get used to it after a while.” John said. She looked up at him with wide eyes and he immediately regretted those words.

Arthur had sobered up by this point. “Charles, take these ladies and get them to a stagecoach. Take ‘em home.”

“Right,” He said, grabbing Karen by the arm and leading Molly and Mary Beth towards the entrance. He halted when he saw police officers approaching. “Out the back!” he called, running by. Arthur quickly followed behind the ladies, hurrying them along.

“We gotta go,” John said, grabbing her hand and dragging her along, trying to keep up with Arthur and Charles.

“Stop!” one police officer shouted. “Get back here!” another one said angrily.

Once they reached the back, Arthur swiftly kicked down the door. “We needa split up. Charles, take Karen. I can handle Molly and Mary Beth.” He turned to John and noticed (y/n) was still with him. “You two gonna be okay?”

“Yeah we’ll be fine.” John said. The commotion of the police was rapidly approaching.

“Okay,” Arthur began. “Stay safe, don’t get caught.” He grabbed Molly’s arm and began to drag her down one the alley, Mary Beth following close behind. Charles took Karen and went the opposite way.

John grabbed (y/n)’s hand again and led her down a different alley. They walked slowly together until they heard footsteps rapidly approaching. John quickened his pace and dragged her along again. He turned a corner and started down a different stretch of the alley. He hid them behind a wall that suck out just enough for the two of them to fit behind. He had her pressed against the wall, his breathing shallow, trying to make as little noise as possible.

“I think they went this way,” He heard an officer say. He quietly prayed to himself, hoping they would just keep running straight. But the sound of their footsteps grew louder and louder.

“Fuck,” He whispered under his breath. He grabbed her hand again and they ran down the dark alley together. The shouts and collective footsteps of the officers running behind them bounced off the walls and echoed, making the chase all that more exhilarating. John looked over his shoulder and saw that they were losing them. He made a sharp left turn and darted down the street. She was struggling to keep up.

“C’mon, (y/n) just a bit further, I promise.” He reassured her. She was breathing heavily, gripping his hand tightly. John took another swift left turn down a new alley. The road curved so he hoped they wouldn’t have seen them turn. They kept running until they reached a small courtyard. He pressed her against a wall again, peering down the alley. The sounds of footsteps grew louder until he saw the officers run past the entrance to they alley they entered. They kept running straight and John breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

“Are they gone?” She whispered. It was only then that he realized how they were positioned. He looked down at her, her face dimly lit by the glow of a streetlamp in the middle of the courtyard. He wanted to lean down and kiss her, but they’d only reunited about an hour and a half ago. He stopped himself, thinking it would have been too soon.

“Yeah, I think so,” He stammered. He backed away, looking down the alley making sure the coast was clear. “Sorry about that, didn’t think things were gonna get outta hand like they did.”

“I forgot how exciting it always was with you, John.” She giggled as she started walking back down the alley towards the street.

“You think almost getting caught by the law is exciting?” he said, following her. “You and I differ on that term greatly.”

“Well, yes I do. It is exciting.” She turned around and started walking backwards so she could look at him. “Until you get caught, which from what I remember was a frequent occurrence for you.” She teased.

“Shut up.” He said, playfully pushing her. It was just like old times.

She turned back around and began walking beside him. “You remember that time you and I cheated at poker and we won $500?”

John’s mind went back to the memory and he smiled. “Yeah. we almost got our asses beat. Thank god Arthur and Mary were there with the wagon waiting for us.”

“Are Arthur and Mary…?” she trailed off.

“No, her father didn’t like Arthur much.”

“Oh,” She said sadly. “What a shame.”

They continued down the street together silently. His mind wandered and he thought back to the day. The day everything fell apart.

-

They had rented a room at a hotel for the night. This was a reoccurrence for them, it was how they mainly spent time together. John would sneak away from camp a couple of times a week. They’d plan something for the day, whether it be horseback riding in the countryside or visiting various hot spots in different towns. Then, they’d rent a room together and spend the night. It was nice to escape from all the robberies and the lawbreaking. He would escape to her and forget his problems. Her smile, her essence, her being. He was so enamored. She kept him grounded in all the chaos that was going on in his life. It was enough for him to go back for a couple of days, but he’d need to see her again shortly after. This went on for years.

The sunlight crept in through the window, stirring him softly. He awoke and squinted, silently cursing himself for not remembering to close the curtains the night before. He grumbled and attempted to climb out of bed, but he was promptly stopped by her. She lazily drooped her arm over his waist.

“C’mere” she said tiredly.

“I’m just closing the curtains.” He assured her. She sighed dramatically and lifted her arm. He leaned over to kiss her forehead before climbing out of bed to close the curtains. He climbed back into bed and threw the covers over their heads.

He wrapped her in his arms and embraced her tightly, dragging his fingers lovingly up and down her back. ‘it doesn’t get any better than this’ he thought. He sighed blissfully. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She mumbled, enjoying their closeness.

He was about to fall asleep again when she spoke. “I’ve been meanin’ to tell you somethin’, John.”

“What is it, sweetheart?”

She pulled away from him slightly to look him in the eye. “I think I want to join you. You and your gang that you’re in.”

He gazed at her with his brown eyes, furrowing his brow in confusion. Without hesitation: “Absolutely not.” He said flatly. “Out of the question.” She was taken aback by his response. She thought he’d accept in a heartbeat.

She pulled away from him and tugged the covers off of their heads. “Why not?”

“I don’t want that life for you, (y/n).” John explained as he sat up with her. “Its dangerous what we go through all the time. If you were to get hurt, I don’t know what I’d do.” He insisted.

“It ain’t just about you John.” she huffed. “Can I not make decisions for myself?”

“You don’t know what its like, (y/n). The law breathin’ down your neck all the time. Plus, we got other gangs we gotta worry about too.” John explained. He was starting to get irritated.

“Okay, John. So tell me, how long is this going to continue for?” she questioned. “Are we just supposed to go hopping around from hotel to hotel for the rest of our lives?” she crossed her arms and leaned back on the headboard, her eyes fixed on him as he remained where he was. He rubbed a hand over his face.

“I don’t know, (y/n).” he sighed. “It wouldn’t be forever.”

She scoffed. “I’m not here for you to drag around, John. I love you, but I can’t keep dealing with this uncertainty.” John kept his gaze forward as she continued. “I wanted to travel with you, go to France maybe. Then we could start a life somewhere.”

John looked back to her. “I just need money, (y/n). Then I’ll take you anywhere you wanna go.”

“And I just need stability. You talked about getting married, so why can’t I come along with the gang? We’d be closer.”

John shook his head and laughed. “Have you not been listening to me, (y/n). Stop being so stupid. You ain’t joinin’ and that’s final.”

She sat there for a moment. She swiftly leaped out of bed and began getting dressed.

“What are you doing?” he asked. His anger dissipated an was replaced with worry.

“I’m leaving now, John.” She threw his shirt over her head and hiked her skirt up to her waist, tucking the shirt in.

“Leavin?” he asked. He grabbed a fistful of the covers and tossed them aside.

“Yes.” She said flatly. “I can’t keep waiting forever.”

“Baby, please.” John climbed up out of bed and hugged her from behind as she was strapping her corset.

“No, John!” she turned around to face him. “You don’t understand how much this is hurting me, and I’m not gonna stand for this any longer!” she said, tears welling in her eyes threatening to escape.

“I just need more time.” he pleaded.

She shook her head. “I’ve given you plenty of time. I’ve given you years of my time and we’re still doing the same thing we’ve been doing since we were teenagers.” she threw her hair up in a bun. “You’d always say that. ‘More time, more time’. Nothing ever happened. Not once.” She started to pack her bag.

She did have a point. It was always talk. Talk is cheap.

“(y/n), please. I’ve been saving, bit by bit. Its not much, but its a start.” John said, attempting anything to prevent her from leaving, but her mind was already made up. He tried to put his hand on her shoulder, but she swatted it away coldly. That’s when his heart broke.

She slipped her shoes on and made her way to the door. She put her hand on the doorknob and looked up at him. She had never seen such a strong man, in will and in strength, crumble so easily.

John couldn’t believe what was happening. He wanted to cry but he felt numb. They were fine no more than ten short minutes ago. He wanted to hold her, but there she was standing by the door, preparing to walk out of his life forever.

“I love you, John Marston. I wish you all the luck in the world.” She turned the knob and quickly left, leaving him to stand there in the lonely hotel room, feeling like something so vital had just been ripped from him.


End file.
